Thoughtful Friday 1

"The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain"

-Kahlil Gibran

Aww...

Andrea just sent me this picture of us from when we went to go see the pre-screening of "Sweeney Todd." Haha... that was an interesting night =] I just thought I'd post it because I think it's really cute.

xoxoGrace

Grace Again

So there are several reasons why I chose Grace as my pen name. Some are apparent from my other posts, although I don't remember if I ever directly stated them. One of them is because my friend Veronica sometimes reminds me, "You are Grace." As in Grace Adler from the television series, Will & Grace.

This year, I unexpectedly found my Will. There have been many wonderful times, as well as many emotionally exhausting times, in these few months since we entered each other's lives. I will start from the beginning.

I wanted to be in Choir Freshman Year, but my mom made me do Orchestra. Okay. Last year I tried to do Acting, but it didn't fit. This year, I was finally able to do Choir. I was excited, but also a bit nervous. I'm really glad I ended up doing it though, because some of my best friends are in that class.

We had three accompanists for our choir. One of them was Will. (Well, his name will remain Will for now, at least, although his real name is one of my favorites. =]) Everybody loves Will. Will was the quiet, nerdy cute (Will, forgive me for using that term) boy who was amazing at piano and everything else he did.

I had the tiniest crush on Will on and off throughout the year, but I never really talked to him so it didn't count. It was a "Hi, you're adorable, I love you," crush. No deeper than that.

But Will was a nice guy. And Turnabout was coming up in February. Too bad my friend asked him before I could. Ahh, Junior Prom was coming up in April. That would be my chance.

My mom knew I wanted to ask Will to J.P. She told me she wouldn't buy me a dress until I had asked him! And, of all things, she gave me a deadline! Lord, I must have been one of the first 5 people to get a Prom date.

I spent all President's Day preparing. His favorite composer is George Gershwin. I made him a CD with Gershwin songs from a show that I had been in. Then I made a puzzle that he had to solve, using the Playlist. The puzzle spelled out "JUNIOR PROM?" I stained the paper in coffee and heated it in the oven, and used calligraphy pens to write on it. Then I burned the edges. My room smelled like smoke for days after, because of course, being me, I would burn paper in my tiny room.

I gave an envelope to him on February 29th, Sadie Hawkin's Day. The envelope contained all the clues and the CD. The 29th was a Friday. I went to see "Penelope" at the movies for my friend Andrea's birthday that day after school, and my friend Julija had to take my phone away from it because I kept checking it to see if he had called.

Sunday was the Junior Ring Mass. Andrea called me in the morning and told me that Will had written on her Facebook and said something along the lines of "hey can you tell grace that i solved her puzzle, but i don't want to call her yet. tell her i have a surprise for her for the next time i see her." OMG I was so excited.

At the Mass, I was singing a verse of the Psalm and Will of course was playing the keyboard. I didn't talk to him at all. I was so nervous. After Mass Veronica and I went to get our rings. After I got mine, I saw Will was waiting to talk to me. "Veronica," I said, "Do I have to go talk to him?" "Well," she said, "he's waiting to talk to you so I'd say yes."

I walked over to him and he told me that he'd solved my puzzle. He gave me a manila folder and told me the inside it was the answer. He'd tried to bring it to my house but he'd gotten lost. It was so adorable.

Ronica and I rushed into the bathroom and opened the envelope. Wow. He made a puzzle for me too! I didn't even try to solve it, I just guessed words to fit into the spaces. I figured it out before I even looked at the puzzle. "I WOULD LOVE TO!" was the answer. I was so excited. That was probably the happiest day of my life. I felt so special and so lucky. And I was. Just in a different way than I'd thought.

Will and I went Salsa Dancing a few weeks later, the last day before Spring Break. We were really awkward. We didn't talk much. I'd tried talking to him before class began every day, but we remained as awkward as ever.

At the end of the night, Will dropped me off. He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope and told me to read it when I had time. I said thank you, I had fun, and I left.

Of course I opened that envelope immediately when I got out of sight. I knew it was something serious before I even read the first words. Basically, it was good news. But it was also difficult news. Will is gay.

Well, I immediately called him and told him that I was proud of him for telling me. I was the second person he'd told. I don't know why it was me, this girl who hardly knew him, but it was.

I walked into the house and things got harder. My mom refused to believe that I hadn't been on a date. It was really awkward and I went straight up to my room. I couldn't call anyone from school to talk about it because no one knew. I called everyone I knew outside of school but no one could talk. That night I cried, I laughed, and I basically had an emotional breakdown. It was so wonderful that he had come out. I'd always wanted a gay friend. But, I just wasn't expecting this one.

Will and I went to Junior Prom together, and we put our mad salsa skills to good use. We had an amazing time. It was one of the best times of my life. I got to spend it with my gay best friend. My beautiful gay best friend.

Since then, Will has come out to his family and most of our friends. The first few times, I was with him when he told people. I'm still so proud of him, and I love him so much.

There have been problems within our friendship though. We fight a lot. Basically, it's my fault. We both forget sometimes how hard this is on one another, but until recently, we've both been extremely open about how we feel about things.

It's weird. I don't get jealous of the guys he likes. I get jealous of the girls that he talks to when he isn't talking to me.

We sing a song together. It's our song. And it's beautiful. We haven't done it in a while. I actually haven't seen him in over two weeks. Things have been rocky lately. But I just hope he knows that I do love him, even if my words sometimes don't show that. That's one of the things I pray for every night, actually. "Dear God, please let Will know that I love him. Please let him feel it right now." I don't know if it works, but I like to think and hope that it does.

Well, that's just a little bit about what has been going on in my life for the past few months. Please pray for Will and me. So that we may do God's will and receive God's grace.


GLINDA
I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason bringing something we must learn and we are led to those who
help us most to grow if we let them and we help them in return and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let
them and we help them in return now I don't know if I believe that that is true but I know I'm who I am today because I knew
you... like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun, like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood...
who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you I have been changed for good

ELPHABA

It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime so let me say before we part: so much of me is what I have
learned from you you'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart now whatever way our stories may end I know you have
rewritten mine by being my friend... Like a ship blown from it's mooring by a wind off the sea like a seed dropped by a
skybird in a distant wood who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you... I have been changed for
good


xoxoGrace

An Update on My Life

Today I was supposed to meet my friend Amy and her two friends, Michael the girl and Brit, at the beach. Before the plans were set in stone however, I scheduled a rehearsal with the music director at church because I am cantoring at Mass Saturday night. The next train downtown wasn't until 1:10, so as I was sitting on the train, reading a hilarious book (Do Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up?), Amy called me. "Grace?" she said, "Do you see that there is no sun outside?" It was indeed a dreary day, as many days in the Chicagoland area have been for the past few months. We ended up meeting at Gino's East. Basically I ended up walking around all of downtown Chicago. (FYI, I went into Tiffany's for the first time ever on Monday and had Jenny take a picture of me outside looking in the window, just like Audrey!) Then we ended up going to the mall, and it was raining, so we walked around with our towels over our heads and looked like colorful nuns!... not only did we get to people watch today, but we were being people watched! That makes absolutely no grammatical sense, but on this blog I really don't care much about my English. I just kind of type and post. We had some *ahem* interesting encounters at the mall, and finally we decided it was time to leave because it was getting dark out earlier because of the rain. Then I had to wait 20 minutes for the darn trolley. When I got to the train, I saw a bald man up ahead of me. "Dad!" I shouted. He didn't hear me. I began calling his name, "Bob! Bob!" Some man next to me said that it was to loud and he wouldn't hear me. "BOB!" I shouted, as loud as I could, and proving the man wrong, my dad turned around and saw me. When I got home I really wanted to go out. I called my friend Clare and we went to Blockbuster's and got "Definitely, Maybe" (after a disappointment in the midst of it, I ended up loving it in the end.) My mom called me and told me to get to Clare's house fast because the sirens were ringing in town. We got to the door of the Blockbuster and looked out. There were four people waiting there. It was pooring rain. Clare and I looked at each other. After about a minute of discussion among us and the rest of the Blockbuster customers, Clare unlocked the car and she and I ran out into buckets of rain beind dumped every .33874329847 seconds. We'd been outside all of thirty seconds and were completely soaked. Normally I love the rain, but this year it has been raining too much for my liking. Hmmph. Well, that was my day. It wasn't very interesting, and I can't keep any of my thoughts straight, but I thought I'd fill you in.

xoxoGrace

The Weight Issue

I felt the need to address the weight issue today after talking with one of my friends who is uncomfortable going to the beach. I have had my share of extra pounds, but I never felt too uncomfortable to participate in an activity. I do realize, however, that I did not make an effort to go out when I was younger and quite chubby.

I was a very thin little girl until around second or third grade, when I got considerably heavier. The boys in school would continuously ask me if I was pregnant. I was in third grade. Are you even kidding me? You can't defend them by saying that they were too young to know any better. Our culture teaches us that thin is beautiful and fat is not. But there is a very fine line between being "thin" and "fat."

I think it was third grade, maybe fourth, that I gave up pasta for Lent in an attempt to slim down. Haha, like that worked. Every morning I would come into the bathroom and pull up my shirt to look at my stomach. I felt that it was getting thinner. The scale wasn't an issue at this point, thank God.

In 5th grade I slimmed down a little bit, but once someone mentioned that to me I thought I could eat whatever I wanted. In seventh grade, things got really bad. Whenever my mom would say something to me about getting my weight down I would refuse to listen because I was too embarrassed to talk about it, but the summer going into eighth grade I finally gave in. That summer I lost 20 pounds. Between 8th Grade and Freshman Year I gained back 15. Then the summer going into Sophomore Year I lost about thirty pounds. I maintained that weight for almost a year, but at the end of sophomore year something happened emotionally that really stressed me out and disabled good diet and exercise routines. My biggest mistake was probably that I went Lacto-Ovo Pescatarian. I was very unhealthy and was ultimately a Carbotarian. After seven months I gave that up and tried to get my weight back to where it had been, but I am unable to run and running is the only thing I want to do. It's been difficult, and I'm losing the battle.

I'm not going to talk about what has caused the increase in obesity in the world, as I have neither great knowledge of it nor any desire to discuss it. I want to take a moment to point out that what many of us view as fat, is not in fact fat at all. Sometimes when I'm getting dressed, I'll look in the mirror and think "Wow, look at that hourglass. Those curves are awesome," but other times I'll look and think "Oh my God look at all that fat!" I'm not fat. It's fleshiness that has been miscontstrued into being called fat. In ancient Rome, flesh was beautiful. You will never see a sculpture of someone with a twig for a body in a Roman museum. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12. She was not fat at all. The difference between her and many people today is that she accentuated and used her curves to her advantage, while many people today try to disguise them. The beauty of the human body can be found anywhere. We define what is beautiful. And it's time to started expanding its definition.

xoxoGrace

Names Again =]

Today I will do F-J of my favorite names.

My Favorite Girl's Names:
Faith
Felicity
Fiona
Gabriela
Gabrielle
Genevieve
Genna
Gloria
Grace, of course
Hailey
Hannah
Hayden
Hilary
Holly
Hollyn
Ireland
Isabella
Jacqueline
Jane
Joanne

My Favorite Boy's Names:
Gabriel
Gallagher
Gannon
Gilbert
Grant
Gregory
Isaac
Israel
Jacob
John
Jonathan
Julian

xoxoGrace

Grace

I've come to the conclusion, that Grace is the prettiest name that one could ever bestow upon a child. It's a virtue name like Charity, Faith, Honor, Justice, or Mercy, among others, but I believe that Grace is the most lovely of them all. I have told my mom that I missed the "graceful lesson." The name Grace encompasses so many things: elegance, God, will, and strength. It is from the grace of God that everything else comes. This post was inspired by my names post. I thought I'd sing my praises of it while I was on the topic of names.


grace /greɪs/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[greys] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, graced, grac·ing.
–noun 1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.
2. a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.
3. favor or good will.
4. a manifestation of favor, esp. by a superior: It was only through the dean's grace that I wasn't expelled from school.
5. mercy; clemency; pardon: an act of grace.
6. favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity.
7. an allowance of time after a debt or bill has become payable granted to the debtor before suit can be brought against him or her or a penalty applied: The life insurance premium is due today, but we have 31 days' grace before the policy lapses. Compare grace period.
8. Theology. a. the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.
b. the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.
c. a virtue or excellence of divine origin: the Christian graces.
d. Also called state of grace. the condition of being in God's favor or one of the elect.

9. moral strength: the grace to perform a duty.
10. a short prayer before or after a meal, in which a blessing is asked and thanks are given.
11. (usually initial capital letter) a formal title used in addressing or mentioning a duke, duchess, or archbishop, and formerly also a sovereign (usually prec. by your, his, etc.).
12. Graces, Classical Mythology. the goddesses of beauty, daughters of Zeus and Eurynome, worshiped in Greece as the Charities and in Rome as the Gratiae.
13. Music. grace note.
–verb (used with object) 14. to lend or add grace to; adorn: Many fine paintings graced the rooms of the house.
15. to favor or honor: to grace an occasion with one's presence.
—Idioms16. fall from grace, a. Theology. to relapse into sin or disfavor.
b. to lose favor; be discredited: He fell from grace when the boss found out he had lied.

17. have the grace to, to be so kind as to: Would you have the grace to help, please?
18. in someone's good (or bad) graces, regarded with favor (or disfavor) by someone: It is a wonder that I have managed to stay in her good graces this long.
19. with bad grace, reluctantly; grudgingly: He apologized, but did so with bad grace. Also, with a bad grace.
20. with good grace, willingly; ungrudgingly: She took on the extra work with good grace.


Grace

*the greatest of all virtues
*I just love the classic elegance of the name Grace and the sweet innocence of the name Gracie! My daughter's name is Grace Anwen and she's been called our Amazing Grace, Graceful, Goodness Gracious... lots of fun little nicknames!
*A timeless classic that will serve well as a child and adult. Grace has great elegance and the meaning "Gift from God/Full of Grace" will stand the test of time. *It has made a comeback but is still not overused - thank goodness! P.S. This is my daughter's first name and is first on my list.
very pretty. an older name making a come back. good for a child and adult.
*Grace is popular but it still doesn't strike me as common. It's crisp and clean. It's an ideal middle or first name because it conjures up only lovely images and yet isn't too much of a burden to live up to.
*simple, classic, elegant, can be used for child or adult
*I like Grace because Grace is timeless. A little girl can wear Gracie, and a successful businesswoman can wear Grace.
*a tradition in my family of girls' middle names being after their grandfather produces this one. My father's name is Graham, so any granddaughter of his will have the middle name Grace after him.
*Grace Angelique: I just love Grace...It is classic, and simple, and easy on the ears...As a child she would be "Gracie", cute and fun....And as an adult, just Grace sounds both beautiful and respectful.
*Grace Elizabeth: very classic and elegant
*Grace Rebekah - Grace timeless, beautiful, and simple. It sounds good with Rebekah, and I love both names

GRACE
Gender: Feminine

Usage: English

Pronounced: GRAYS

From the English word grace, which ultimately derives from Latin gratia. This was one of the virtue names created in the 17th century by the Puritans. The actress Grace Kelly (1929-1982) was a famous bearer.


Here is some information on God's grace: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/06689x.htm

xoxoGrace