So Much Better

You have to take it for what it is, considering that it's Legally Blonde the Musical, but I love this song.

On this lovely day...

"Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know it so it goes flying anyway."

-Mary Kay Ash

Reasons to be Happy

• I know where I'm going to college
• I found my beautiful prom dress
• Audrey Hepburn is marvelous in Breakfast at Tiffany's
• Breakfast at Tiffany's is a wonderful novella
• 20 days of school left
• my science project outline is not due till the end of the week
• Brunch with Mom, Tom, Grandpa, Aunt Karen, Uncle Steve, Sandra, and Sister Marge was lovely today
• my room is clean
• pandora is an awesome website
• I'm starting running again tomorrow
• I get to see Amy tomorrow!
• In 20 days there are some people that I will never have to see again
• my blog is beautiful
• my room is clean
• I'm getting along with my family
• I will be back in choir tomorrow, so I can sing and relieve whatever little stress I still have
• I'm going now so I can finish my religion homework by 8!

Supense

So I just started listening to this old time radio show called Suspense after my friend Pat told me about it a few months ago. It's a free podcast on iTunes and I'm kind of obsessed. I didn't think I would like it at first and it wasn't until I had some free time this past week on break that I started actually listening to it because if I'm reading something or get distracted on the computer while it is playing I don't pay attention to the story and completely miss what happened. Hopefully hearing it on the radio and having to picture it on my own will improve my listening skills. It's actually really cool and I highly recommend checking it out. It's free so that's definitely a plus!
xoxograce

"God will not look you over for medals degrees or diplomas, but for scars"-Elbert Hubbard

There’s a scar by my left eyebrow from chicken pox.
There are scars on my elbows from falling off the swing.
There’s a scar on the inside of my right knee from when I fell off my bike.
There’s a scar on the back of my right ankle from shaving.
There’s a scar on my right ankle from a blister I got ice skating.
There’s a scar on the back of my left calf from when my lamp fell on me.
There’s a scar on the back of my right thigh from shaving.
There are scars on my chin and above my eyebrows from acne.
There are scars all over my feet from shoes and from running.
There’s a scar on the side of my middle finger on my right hand from when I mysteriously cut myself somehow.

We all have scars. Scars are marks of life. They show that we haven’t spent all our days inside our rooms sitting on our beds, hiding from the world. They show our braveness, our foolishness, our helplessness. They are imperfections that move us closer to perfection. If we spent all our time inside, away from life, we wouldn’t be living a full, well-rounded life and we’d be moving further from perfection then we would be if we were actually trying. Scars when looked at as a part of something bigger are beautiful. They are a scrapbook of our lives, a roadmap that only shows where we’ve been but can’t tell us where we’re going. Scars are life.

Heyy

I think it is extremely important to address people by their names.

Yeah, I walk down the hallway and say “hey girl” and “what’s up lady,” but if I’m in a conversation with someone, I make sure to call them by their name. I do love terms of endearment. I come up with new ones all the time, but sometimes you just need to hear your name. You need to make sure that the person talking to you actually does know it.

Thinking about it, I don’t think a lot of my friends actually do address me by my name in normal conversation. I do it all the time. Usually if one of my friend’s addresses me, they call me “Hil” which is completely fine. I don’t need the full name. I just need to know that I’m not a general person that they decided to talk to. I do like being called Hil actually. It makes me feel as though people are comfortable with me. I don’t know why, but I really like when people say my name. It’s MY NAME. But I like hearing how other people say it.

Love.

Happy Easter Bunny!

Jesus Christ is risen today, Alleluia!

We went to Mass this morning, then came home and found our Easter baskets, then ate breakfast and now we are preparing for our Easter celebration. I hope everyone has a blessed and happy Easter!

love, grace

Desiderata by Max Erhmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant,

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love,

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,

and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Here in your arms...

Hellogoodbye is playing right now.
It's 12:51 Easter morning.
Jesus rose from the dead.

I am so happy.
I think I'm legit happy, too. I don't think it's from the vicodin.

I'm cleaning my room.
I have so many good friends.
I have so many memories.
I have a bright future.
I have so many treasures.
I feel adorable.
I feel so happy.
I am lovable, loving, and loved.

I have pictures, letters, trinkets, clothing, posters, brainwaves to prove all of these claims.
I have letters that people have written to me from over the years... telling me how much they love me and how much I mean to them. I have boxes and boxes of memories. I have a beautiful room. I have a beautiful family. I have beautiful friends. And my family and friends are, most importantly, beautiful on the inside, which is what I strive to be as well. I have music playing. I am able to hear it. I have Noly Poly Rabbit Tail laying on my bed. I have a "graffiti wall" from my 1950's party folded on my bed right now, filled with loving comments and inside jokes. Hahahah I have painkillers on my bedside table hahahha. I swear to God I'm just happy even though I'm sure it's going to be hard to believe considering the vicodin sitting next to me. This is more of a post for me than it is for anyone else. I guess all my posts are mostly for me. It's not for anyone else. It's all just for me, to improve my writing, improve myself, reflect on my life. It's just easiest to do it all in a blog format. Guess what?? I've been single for 3 months and I love it. Heeeeee!!!! The only person I am accountable to is myself. It's a great feeling. I know how to fix my own problems. I'm intelligent. Wow, this is an optimistic blog beyond belief. I know this probably doesn't make sense to anyone else but myself. Hahaahaha Britney Spears is playing right now... Oops... I did it again. I'm listening to the CD Tracy made me for my 16th birthday. I HAVE MIX CDs SHOWING HOW MANY PEOPLE CARE ABOUT ME!!! HEEE!!! I love day lilies. They are so beautiful. I have a picture of one on my wall. It's gorgeous. Day lilies are my favorite flower. I can't wait until they bloom on my lawn. Ahhh, it's going to be warm outisde soon! I got the most adorable Easter outfit from Forever 21 today. I know a lot of people think Forever 21 is overrated but I absolutely adore it. I love The Sound of Music. I used to want to become a nun because I wanted to be like Maria von Trapp. Hahhaha. I could never be a nun. Even though I feel like I have a duty to become one because of the lack of religious in the world. This is morning... it's when I spend the most time thinking about what I've given up... Jack's Mannequin is now playing. White Sox won!!! My aunt Debbie, my aunt Stefanie, Tom, and I all ate a whole plate of brownies today at my cousin Pat's 21st birthday party... it was so good. Tonight I was finally able to eat some food. Thursday all I could eat after I got my wisdom teeth out was half of a milkshake and yesterday I just ate some mac 'n' cheese, apple sauce, and some ravioli a little later. I ate a lot for dinner today, so that was good. I'm naturally blonde!!!! I've never color treated my hair! I am so lucky!!! Ahhh I am so grateful for everything! St. Thomas Aquinas is the shit! I love him! Ohhh I babysat for a half hour today! I played with Baby Dan down the street and Timmer stayed inside and played computer games while Dan and I played games outside... and he rode around in his firetruck too! It was so fun! I have a stuffed animal named Murphy the Monkey... I am so blessed. Ahhh and I have my family coming over for Easter! I'm so excited! Hopefully I will be bright eyed and bushytailed tomorrow so I can enjoy their company. I feel at peace right now. Two years... is way too long to be holding on to something. I love quincy. He's adorable. Audrey Hepburn is so gorgeous. I am able to read! I am so lucky! And I enjoy reading enough to do it for fun! I wasn't able to watch PG-13 movies until after sophomore year... so I have so many movies to catch up on... but that means I have a myriad of movies to watch! I have so many things to do in my life! I started this blog! I have a reading audience! I HAVE BEEN ON STAGE AS A LEAD IN SEVERAL SHOWS AND PEOPLE HAVE LOVED IT AS MUCH AS I HAVE! I'M FLIPPING USING EXCLAMATION POINTS AND NORMALLY I HATE USING THEM BECAUSE I THINK THEY OVEREXAGGERATE...!!!!!! Okay this blogpost is complete stream of conciousness. Hey, I made it. I'm the world's greatest. I love that song. I love you. I love me. I love everyone. Wheeee!

Love, love, love, forever and ever,
Grace

Paint Splatters and Writing on the Walls...

My dad doesn't like my room.

I painted it two summers ago--it's green with blue trim. Being neither an artist nor a perfectionist, I didn't work very hard to remove any smudges or drips of paint... there's blue where it should only be green, there's green where there should be white... there are quotes written in permanent marker where it should only be plain green... i don't know if anyone has seen my little corner of quotes. I have a lot written there. I love it. I think it's beautiful.

My room has character. No one else's room will have the same paint splashes, the same pictures on the walls, the same quotes in permanent marker. No one else will have the same stuffed animals I have, the same piggy bank I have, the same mirror I have. No one else will have the same memories I have, the same poems that I have, the same paintings that I have. It's unique. It has character. No one else can ever have this room exactly the way I have it. I love it like this.

My One and Only Vice

So normally for Lent, I give up a myriad of items and activities and come up with a huge list of goals for myself, but this Lent, I just came up with three: 1. Give up diet pepsi. 2. run at least 3 times a week. 3. do something nice for someone every day. Well, the only one I can say I stuck to is giving up diet pepsi. Actually, I got better towards the end of Lent with running, but then I got sick and I just got my wisdom teeth out, so now I've put a hold on my running. And I'm sure I've done one nice thing for someone every day during Lent, even if I wasn't thinking about it while I was doing it. But diet pepsi is my one and only vice and on Sunday I can have it. Well, that is if I can actually eat anything on Sunday because I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday and haven't eaten anything since Wednesday night. Last night was my favorite day of Lent, actually probably of the whole church season, but I didn't go to Mass or visit churches because I was high off the anesthesia and the vicodin... But anyway, hopefully it will all be good soon. Maybe I'll be able to eat something today =] Haha. I don't know if I'll be able to deal with carbonation by Sunday though, which would make me so sad because I LOVE DIET PEPSI. I've had cravings all Lent, but thankfully right now I'm not craving anything... It's really weird not wanting to eat anything... really weird and unusual for me... anyway I've already lost weight from having my wisdom teeth out haha so I guess that's good.

love,
grace

A Beautiful Mess

Far far, there's this little girl
she was praying for something to happen to her
everyday she writes words and more words
just to spit out the thoughts that keep floating inside
and she's strong when the dreams come cos' they
take her, cover her, they are all over
the reality looks far now, but don't go

How can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
how can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
oh oh oh oh

Far far, there's this little girl
she was praying for something good to happen to her
from time to time there are colors and shapes
dazzling her eyes, tickling her hands
they invent her a new world with
oil skies and aquarel rivers
but don't you run away already
please don't go oh oh

How can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
how an you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
Take a deep breath and dive
there's a beautiful mess inside
how can you stay outside?

There's a beautiful mess
beautiful mess inside
Oh beautiful, beautiful

Far far there's this little girl
she was praying for something big to happen to her
every night she hears beautiful strange music
it's everywhere there's nowhere to hide
but if it fades she begs"oh lord don't take it from me, don't take it
"She says, "I guess i'll have to give it birth
to give it birth
i guess, i guess, i guess i have to give it birth
i guess i have to, have to give it birth
there's a beautiful mess inside and it's everywhere
Just look at yourself nowdeep inside
deeper than you ever dared
there's a beautiful mess insidebeautiful mess inside

Far far by Yael Naim

Ahhh!!!

http://www.savethewords.org/

I love it.

He's quite the charmer...

Dick Van Dyke is so neglected. He's so handsome, witty, talented, and he has a classic charm. Ahhhh I love him! Haha I was just watching him as Albert Peterson in Bye Bye, Birdie so that spurred on my need to post his beautiful face on my blog =]

love,
grace

It's all the rage in classrooms...

When I started my Chemistry of Life class this semester, two girls at my table would always be doing Sudokus. One day this girl, Kelli, asked me if I wanted one and I said sure. I didn't know how to play. I knew the number nine was important and that the boxes, rows, and columns all mattered, but I didn't have a clue what I was doing. So I asked my friend Becky and she showed me what to do. I became OBSESSED. After I finished my first game there was no stopping me. Now, I have a little Sudoku pack that I carry with me everywhere I go. And I'm not the only one. At any given time, if I look around my classroom, there will be AT LEAST two other people playing Sudoku. It's addicting. Granted I'm not the best or the fastest Sudoku player. I race against my friend Tom in Chem of Life all the time and he always wins, but I'm getting there. It's so much fun, it's a challenge, and it's better than texting or just plain not paying attention in class because it does have your mind going.

Hilary & Tom

Tom and I are 14 months apart... exactly. My birthday is December 8, 1990, his is February 8, 1992. So, except for the first year and two months of my life, Tommy has always been around.

I guess we're lucky. We get along extremely well. We hug, we hang out, we'll laugh together, make fun of our family and friends, make fun of ourselves, tell each other secrets, keep each other's secrets, dance...

"Someday, you guys are going to be best friends," our parents would always say. I never believed them. But in a way I guess it's true. Tom doesn't know everything, but he knows a lot, and I do consider him to be one of my best friends.

One good thing about having your brother as your best friends is that even if you fight, you know it will be fine. I don't think Tom and I ever apologize to each other anymore. We'll be mad at each other for a little while and then we just know that it's alright and we can move on. We have an understanding. That's a luxury I do not have with my other friends. Often times, I'd much rather move on and forget about it... whether I am on the accepting or the giving side of the apology.


So I'm Tom's only sister. Whenever I tried to find out who he liked he wouldn't tell me. So I guess in my mind, girlwise in Tom's life, it was me and my mom. I guess that's why it was weird for me to see him with his date at Junior Prom this weekend.


I'm not always going to be the girl that Tom comes to for advice. I'm not always going to be the girl that he talks to when he's frustrated, jokes around with, laughs with, fights with. Someday he's going to find another girl to do all that with and I'll just be his big sister. It feels really strange for me, really sad. It feels like the end of an era.

I'm leaving next year, and while I'm worried that it might tear us apart, I can only hope and pray that the physical distance brings us closer together. I am truly blessed to have such a great brother. I always get comments like, "Wow, you and your brother get along so well--I wish I was that close to my brother," or "You guys have a really strange relationship. I don't ever talk to my brother." I think it's sad that siblings don't get along and I'm so glad that I landed in the family I'm in. I don't know where I would be without Tom. He's there for me through thick and thin and he doesn't ever betray me. Well, he might make fun of me in front of my friends, but usually he's pretty good about being nice to me =]

It's gotta be that can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, world-series kind of stuff.