Something Old

Okay so when I was little I never liked having anything old. Everything had to be new, and books had to stay in perfect condition even if they were several years old. Only framed pictures could be hung on the walls and if everything wasn't perfect then everything would fall to pieces. I don't know, it's the way I've always been... it's all or nothing. Lately though, I've been liking when things look worn... like, books, if there's something written in them, that's awesome. I love when my voice teacher gives me copies of music that have old notes written on them. I like knowing that life has gone on in the things I own. In my room, I have pictures, unframed pictures and posters and ticket stubs and certificates. My only problem now is that I think through things too much. Like, I really want to put a princess sticker that I took from the doctor's office on my new book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, but will someone question it, or judge, or will I regret putting it on there? Will it ruin the total sense of the book? And which princess sticker... I did, of course, take four... because the first one was Snow White, and I can't stand her, the second is Cinderella which was okay, but then there was Belle, who I played in Beauty and the Beast, and if I was going to take Belle then of course I needed to get Aurora because she is my favorite... so which do I put on the book? And where? Should I put it on the front cover and regret ruining the simplicity of the cover, or should I put it in the back cover and risk seeming too mild to put it in plain view? Haha yeah I think wayyy to much about things... I think I just need to do it...
Love,
Grace

Something I Noticed...

Well... I was thinking about this on the car ride home... I'd noticed it before and I don't know why I was thinking about it as it is completely random... but I noticed when I was watching Breakfast at Tiffany's a while ago that when Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard kiss Audrey's neck is very long, extended, graceful, and beautiful, and George's chin is very inward, almost touching his clavicle, his neck not even visible above his coat. I don't know why, but I just thought it was cute. I have noticed this kind of kiss in several old movies.

I'm sure it's because George is taller than Audrey, so she has to reach up to him, but I just likedd it... I can't even describe why.

love, grace

Merry Christmas, Friend

Uhm... I would just like to dedicate this post to all the brave men and women who are fighting to protect our country.

Love, grace

Birthdayssss

Hey, blogger family!
Today, December 8, 2008, I am 18.

I love birthdays.
I love a day all about me.
This year I didn't build it up though.
I don't feel any different.
I'm a legal adult now...
But from 17 to 18 there's no major change overnight.

At exactly 12:00 in the morning I was woken up by my friend Tracy.
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you..."
We talked for 6 minutes and thennn...
Alexis called
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you..."

I love my friends.
I just got back from Mass for the Immaculate Conception of Mary and now my mom and my brother Tom are taking me out for breakfast. [We don't have school today because we had open house yesterday.]

So here's to another year =]

xoxograce

a needed update

So, I have been sooooo busy lately and have not had time to update. (aka I've been really lazy)

So my fall has been filled with college applications, homework, and rehearsal. I had the supporting role in the musical Kiss Me, Kate. I played Lois Lane/Bianca. It was really crazy and I wasn't sure that things were going to work out, but they did =]

The first picture from left to right is me as Bianca, Colin as Lucentio, Maria as Kate, and Zack as Petruchio. Kiss Me, Kate is a musical version of Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew. It's a play within a play so we each had two characters we were playing. One of my favorite things about the show was all the costumes... we had costumes from the 1940's and from Shakespearean times so it was a lot of variety. The second picture is me as Bianca with Colin as Lucentio and Andrea as Baptista. Our family was kind of awesome. Then is me as Lois with Katie, and finally, me with my beloved assistant stage manager, Genevieve. (that kiss on her cheek is from me.)

Because of choir and the play, I made a new best friend this fall. Her name is Alexis and she is pretty much awesome.

Other than that, things have been great. Two of my friends and I have reconnected after fairly long periods of not talking. I'm happy in school right now... except in the math and science departments because I do not think with the left side of my brain.

One of my best friends Amy helped me with my mom's golf outing for Breast Cancer in October. It was a lot of fun spending time with my friends and family.

Thanksgiving was... delicious. I ate so much I had trouble getting up off the couch. We went to my cousins for dinner and then my aunt and uncle's house for dessert. In the morning we went to the Turkey Bowl with my mom's cousins and played some football. I caught the ball twice =] I was very proud.

I'm excited because my birthday is on Monday =]

We don't have school Monday and I like having my birthday when school is in because I like seeing everyone and it's always a dress-up day for Mass because my birthday is on the Immaculate Conception of Mary. I'm glad that I will have a relaxing day, though.

I drank a Sprite the other day. It was kind of delicious... I'm normally a diet pepsi person...

Haha today Andrea sent me to go fetch her some water and I accidently got her citrus water and I thought she was going to kill me... but it wasn't as bad as expected.

I have a really unique laugh and lately people have been coming up to me in the hallway, asking me if I was laughing in class because they heard me down the hall... oops =]

Okay, it was lovely catching up. I'll try and post again soon.

xoxograce

Dog's Death by John Updike

She must have been kicked unseen or brushed by a car.
Too young to know much, she was beginning to learn
To use the newspapers spread on the kitchen floor
And to win, wetting there, the words, "Good dog! Good dog!"

We thought her shy malaise was a shot reaction.
The autopsy disclosed a rupture in her liver.
As we teased her with play, blood was filling her skin
And her heart was learning to lie down forever.

Monday morning, as the children were noisily fed
And sent to school, she crawled beneath the youngest's bed.
We found her twisted and limp but still alive.
In the car to the vet's, on my lap, she tried

To bite my hand and died.
I stroked her warm fur
And my wife called in a voice imperious with tears.
Though surrounded by love that would have upheld her,
Nevertheless she sank and, stiffening, disappeared.

Back home, we found that in the night her frame,
Drawing near to dissolution, had endured the shame
Of diarrhoea and had dragged across the floor
To a newspaper carelessly left there. Good dog.

unconditional love

So, I was in religion class yesterday and we were discussing how God is a mystery and we can never completely know the being that God is. I kind of started thinking on my own, just some shallow contemplation, but I came to the conclusion that God must be a really cool guy (or being, if you want to be completely correct.) I was just imagining what it would be like to be God, and I thought about how bored I would be. Seriously, God must love us so much. He does so much for us, he watches his people make mistakes over and over again and he still loves us. He’s watched us for millions of years. I would honestly be extremely depressed if I saw all the evil that happens in my creation. But I am not God. And I am very happy about that. God sees the evil, but he also sees the good. He sees the need to please. He sees that we are trying and struggling to do his will every day and he gives us credit for that. We are not perfect; we can never hope to be. But we can be grateful that we have a God who loves us unconditionally.

I Love You, Lady

She's number 5 on my speed dial.
Number 1 is voicemail.
2 is home.
3 is Mom.
four is Dad.
5 is Tracy.

Granted I don't call her that much. Tracy was my best friend freshman year. We don't really get to see each other much now, but we're still close. We will always be close. You know how there are some relationships when if you don't see the other person for a while, it gets awkward? That didn't happen with Tracy and myself. We were always fine. Grace and Trace. Except not really because my name isn't really Grace =] Well, I just wanted to make a post for Tracy. Her father passed away yesterday. This man was the funniest man you will ever meet. I guarantee you won't find anyone who cares about being a good father more than Mr. K did. I just wanted to let TK know that I love her and that everyone loves her and that we are all here for her, and I wanted to ask that everyone keep her and her family in their prayers. Thank you.

love,
grace

God Bless America

Everyone,
Please make wise decisions today. You should have done your homework. You should know the issues. Please make informed decisions.
-grace

Tact

I have a hard time knowing when something crosses the line.

When does a cliche become a cliche? When does it cross the line from being a clever phrase to being "cliche?" My English teacher told me after the 27th time it's been used. It would be nice if things did just have numbers like that. After the 27th time "it was a dark and stormy night" was used it turned into a cliche. That would make it so much easier.

When does it cross the line from being confident to cocky? Or from open to vulgar? It's so difficult to find these things out until you mess up and you cross the line. I'm not sure if I am the only one who feels like this. Maybe other people just have a little more tact.

xoxograce

Charming

Once there was a girl named Grace.
She had a friend named Ariel.
Ariel liked the word "charming."
Grace liked it too.
And, lucky for them,
it described them both perfectly.

xoxograce

The Virgin Mary

I have always had a special connection with the Virgin Mary. My birthday is December 8th, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. I always get to go to Mass on my birthday. When I was little, I always hated "having" to go to Mass on my birthday. "You'll get graces in heaven," my dad always said, but that never made me feel any better. Now I love going to Mass on my birthday. I get to thank God and Mary for another year of life and I get to start my day out with the right mindset. October is a special month for Mary. My mom is having a Rosary after Mass tomorrow morning and someone came by to drop off roses today. My dad came in singing a song for Mary that is normally sung during May, the other month of Mary. I think this song is so beautiful, I need to post it.



Bring flowers of the fairest
Bring flowers of the rarest
From garden and woodlandAnd hillside and vale
Our full hearts are swelling
Our Glad voices telling
The praise of the loveliest
Rose of the vale


O Mary!
we crown thee with blossoms today
Queen of the Angels, Queen of the May
O Mary! we crown thee with blossoms today
Queen of the Angels, Queen of the May


Our voices ascending,
In harmony blending
Oh! Thus may our hearts turn
Dear Mother, to thee
Oh! Thus shall we prove thee
How truly we love thee
How dark without Mary
Life's journey would be


O Mary!
we crown thee with blossoms today
Queen of the Angels, Queen of the May
O Mary! we crown thee with blossoms today
Queen of the Angels, Queen of the May


O Virgin most tender
Our homage we render
Thy love and protection
Sweet Mother, to win
In danger defend us
In sorrow befriend us
And shield our hearts
From contagion and sin


O Mary!
we crown thee with blossoms today
Queen of the Angels, Queen of the May
O Mary! we crown thee with blossoms today
Queen of the Angels, Queen of the May


Of Mothers the dearest
Oh, wilt thou be nearest
When life with temptation
Is darkly replete
Forsake us, O never
Our hearts be they ever
As Pure as the lilies
We lay at thy feet


O Mary! we crown thee with blossoms today
Queen of the Angels, Queen of the May
O Mary! we crown thee with blossoms today
Queen of the Angels, Queen of the May

My Friends

I think I'm going to write a post dedicated to one of my friends every once in a while.





The first one is to my friend... Andrea


This is andrea. we go to school together. we were acquaintances freshman and sophomore year and then last year we became really close. we're both theatre dorks... [most of my friend are either theatre dorks or running nerds]

andrea is kind of... awesome

haha i'm not really saying anything substantial at all in this post. i really just wanted a reason to post this picture because i love it... so haha i'm probably not actually going to write blog posts dedicated to specific friends... sorry to disappoint you. i like writing. i like the feeling of having my thoughts come out on to paper... or onto a computer screen.

remind me... i have to write about my writing dreams. writing is my passion. just to let you know, writing has been my passion longer that music or drama has... i wanted to be a writer ever since i was in second grade and i started writing a novel.

i like being me. i think that's at least the second or third time i said that tonight... but really, i do.

xoxograce

I was just wondering...

does anyone ever feel so frustrated that there is not enough time in a lifetime to write about everything that could be written about?

Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.
-C.S. Lewis

When I Grow Up...

My goal in life is not to be successful. My goal in life is to be happy and to give joy to others.

I want to be a writer. I want to write about everything-- fiction, nonfiction, short stories, novels, poetry, prose... i want to do it all. I want to write my own music. I want to play piano and guitar. I want to sing. I want to create.

I want to help others. I want to be a teacher. I want to be a mother. I want to be able to share my love with others. I want to be a catechist. I want to be a volunteer. I want to have a fruitful life.

I want to be a wife. I want to love someone with all my heart. I want to be willing to give my life for someone. I want to be completely unselfish.

I want to have to work really hard at what I do. I don't want my life to be easy.

I want God to give me challenges that I don't think I can surpass. And then I want to conquer them.

I want to be loved.

xoxograce

100 Positive Things

I was writing a post about all the things that make me sad... but I decided against posting it. I'm going to be optimistic =]

1. i made $33 today
2. i have people who love me for who I am
3. Will has a best friend who loves him and family and other friends who love him and he still has me there too
4. God is here
5. God answers prayers
6. i'm getting the best grades i've gotten since starting high school
7. i'm going to get better
8. i'm brave
9. i don't have a pin stuck in my foot anymore
10. i have people that i honestly love with all my heart and would do anything for
11. my mom's golf outing for breast cancer is tomorrow
12. my mom survived breast cancer when i was in fourth grade
13. i participate in my classes
14. i participated in c.s. lewis club last week =]
15. i'm actually worth it
16. i think that there is life after death... there has to be
17. tears are good sometimes
18. i think we both learned a lot about being good friends from the few months that we were friends...
19. sometimes you just have to be strong and to let go
20. people liked my autobiography and i had a really clever idea for the layout
21. i'm creative
22. someday i'm going to be a writer
23. i can dance if i practice because i have two legs, two feet
24. there are people out there who can understand me
25. i have a crush on someone
26. I'M A BLOGGER
27. i'm unique
28. i'm open about who i am and what i feel
29. i don't hold back
30. i genuinely care about people
31. i'm wearing santa claus pajama pants
32. i have about 20 pairs of christmas pajama pants... haha i'm completely serious, too--I counted one time when i was on the phone with Bee
33. I love my creative writing class
34. I do not have a math or science part of the brain at all... but i'm amazing at other things
35. i'm proud of who i am
36. he doesn't know me
37. no one actually knows me but myself and God... and that makes life more fun

i am i. i am grace. i love myself. and i love you, too. yes, even you. especially you. you know who i am talking to.

xoxograce

Postsecret

I love postsecret...

Praying for the Right Thing

I realized something yesterday. I'd been saying an intercessory prayer to St. James, asking him to get in a word with God to heal an ailment that I have. I thought that miraculously my problems would be solved and that would be the end. Yesterday I had an epiphany. I love the word epiphany. I realized that I was praying for the wrong thing. I would pray to God to "heal me," to "help me," but what I should have been praying for was for God to give me the strength to help myself. I wanted God to just give me the easy way out and to heal me without me actually having to do anything. That's not the way it works. I have the resources to help myself, and that way is definitely harder, but in the end it makes me stronger. I just wanted to share wtih everyone. If you think your prayer has not been answered, look harder. I'm sure the answer is there, it just might not be the answer you wanted. God isn't here to give us everything we want. God's goal is to prepare our souls for heaven. God loves us and knows us better than we know ourselves. God is doing what is right for us. God loves. And love heals.

xoxograce

Homecoming =]

Well, tonight was lovely. I got my haircut at 1:15 (notice the bangs). Then Julija came over and we drove to the Greek Islands where we met Andrea, Veronica, Cally, and Johanna. Julija and I were somehow color coordinated and we didn't even know we were going to be... we both had black dresses with green accents. Weird. I ate gyros and pastichio and it was delicious. Then we made a Walgreens run because my camera ran out of batteries. We had fun playing in the Halloween aisle. We took pictures that Ronica has on her camera. Then we went to the dance. The theme was Marti Gras but obviously, with our lack of school spirit, nobody cared. I had a lot of fun tonight. Despite my foot problem, I danced all night and had fun with all my friends. After the dance Julija, Andrea, Johanna, and I went to White Palace and got some milkshakes (Julija also got some French toast). That milkshake may have been the best one I have ever had. No joke.

have a lovely rest of the weekend!

xoxograce

"Ive never let my school interfere with my education." -Mark Twain

I'm in school right now. I'm extremely tired and I should be doing my astronomy homework but I don't know what it is so...

This is spirit week at our school and we have homecoming on Saturday. This is the schedule of the week:
Monday: Twin Day
Tuesday: Hawaiian Day
Wednesday: Superhero Day
Thursday: Decades Day (Freshman-50's, Sophomores-60's, Juniors- 70's, Seniors- 80's) So I'm dressed up with teased hair, leggings and legwarmers right now and it is wayyyy too hot in this building to be wearing layers.
Friday: Spirit Day-- we wear any school shirts and jeans and we have our pep rally. I'm sure it will be peppy. Not really. We have low school spirit at this school. We didn't have a football team for a long time and now we've only had it for five years and we're not the best...

Will on this blog is wearing red pants today hahaha. "Will looks particularly sexy today. Why does he have to be gay?" my friend Katie asked me. Katie, Will says thanks for saying he looks sexy.

I haven't really blogged in a while so I guess I'll update.

School started. I like my classes.
I got the supporting role in the school musical, "Kiss Me, Kate" so that's exciting =]
I'm going to the homecoming game tomorrow with Amy and I'm borrowing one of her dresses for the dance on Saturday because I don't want to spend money and buy a new one. Amy's 4'11" though to my 5'6" so we'll see how her dress fits me...

Being in the computer lab has woken me up because it's air conditioned all year round in here.

Latin class is really boring me lately. Freshman year it was my favorite class. I guess the teacher really can make the class.

I don't want to be in school right now. I want to be in bed eating food.

I'm starting a diet again. I've gained a lot of weight. Yeahh... we'll see.

I wish I could dance.

There is something wrong with my foot. I stepped on something a while ago and now it still hurts and sometimes it feels like a nerve is being pinched or something. It's quite painful.

It's funny to see everyone dressed up this week. We should have theme days every week. I would love it, but I'm sure we'd all get bored.

Okay 4th period ends in like four minutes so I'm gonna go. Hopefully I'll write more soon.

xoxograce

Autumn

Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile.

-William Cullen Bryant

I Miss Summer...

Amy and me at the beach =]

=]

i'm not nervous anymore.

=/

I'm nervous.

-grace

"he's kind of charming."
-ariel

that's why they call them crushes

"That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy they'd call them something else."

-Jim Baker, Sixteen Candles


Ariel and I were just on the phone for a while. We were talking about a multitude of topics, but one that is really on my mind right now is crushes. I've been thinking about it. Most guys that I've liked in the past are guys that I kind of convinced myself to like because I thought that I should like them, not because I actually did. I don't really know if that makes sense, but it's what happened. I just always wanted someone to like. It's fun to have someone that you like. It's really difficult, too, but I realized something today. (The path my life has been taking recently has been one of revelation.) I realized today that the worst thing is when you like someone that you didn't chose to like. You just like him or her. You didn't pick them out and say "Hey, I like you." It just happened. You kind of tripped over them. You didn't mean to, but it happened. That is the worst thing. Well, for me, right now, it's the worst thing. If circumstances were different then I think that it would actually be extremely wonderful.

love,
grace

p.s. i'm finding it a lot harder to be close with God while school is in session. i'm kind of just trying to survive. it's getting in the way of my faith journey and is causing concern.

Hey, Blogger Family!

hey guys,
i just realized something a few minute ago. guess what. i know how to forgive.
love,
grace

1950's Style

I finally combed out my beehive. I think I must have been in the shower for at least twenty minutes longer than usual because I was trying to tame my teased hair and get rid of all the hairspray. I had a 1950's party last night! It was fun, we played fifties music, hula hooped, dressed up, and had a bonfire. We also had a graffiti wall on my garage and everyone wrote something.

I like making people dress up. I find it entertaining =]

In other news, I'm sick and my voice is shot and I have an audition this week so I'm kind of really upset. I'm also looking forward to seeing Shannon's pictures from her dad's wedding when she posts them! I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday.

xoxo,

grace

Things I'm Liking...

• freshly waxed eyebrows
• dressing in 80's workout clothes
• the 1950's
• pink pumps
• Massa
• awkwardly cantoring at Mass
• talking at my usual volume even though my voice is shot... but now i'm talking like a man to ease the pain so i guess that's my punishment
• sweatbands
• mistakenly calling bloggers by their real name online
• dancing
• smiling
• laughing really loud
• going to Goodwill

<333grace

Bottle Opener

My brother just informed me that the dentures on our garage are a bottle opener! Is that not hilarious?
xoxograce

Dentures

I was just thinking about my garage. Why I was thinking about my garage as I was in the middle of writing my religion would take along and complicated explanation, but anyway, I was thinking about my garage. Our garage is an ordinary two car garage that is filled with way too much garbage to fit one car, let alone two. Our garage is ordinary. Except for one thing. There is a pair of dentures attached to our garage. I have no idea why they are there, but the are right on the garage door, painted white and easily mistaken for a hook on the door. After close examination, however, you will see that there is, a pair of dentures stationed on my garage door.

multa amore,
grace

i bought a new life for a dollar twenty-five, some sunglasses, too.
*backseat goodbye

A Short Post with Easy Reading Specifically for Ariel and Ausrine

my foot hurts.
i stepped on something on saturday.
it's not the ball of my foot, it's next to it.
it's not my foot with bursitis either.
i don't know what's wrong with it.
hopefully i won't die from it.
the end.

love,
grace

Brian Andreas

I started thinking about a quote today when I was bike riding. I didn't know who the author was, but I liked the quote. I googled it (google solves all) and the author was Brian Andreas who is an American artist and short story teller.

She said she usually cried at least once each day

not because she was sad,

but because the world was so beautiful and life was so short.

Here are some more quotes by Brian Andreas:

Everything changed

the day he figured out

there was exactly enough time

for the important things in his life.

The most important thing

you leave behind is the stuff that turns into treasures

when children find it.

Anyone can slay a dragon, he told me,

but try waking up every morning and loving the world all over again.

That's what takes a real hero.

I just thought this was all very beautiful.

Have a wonderful Sunday,

gracie

Some Random Thoughts...

I've been thinking a lot about how if you've grown up with someone always there, or something always at your disposal, it takes a long time to realize how much you rely on them.

Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World."
I've heard that song since I was little but it wasn't until Thursday when my voice teacher, Lucy, gave me the song to sing that I really saw how beautiful it was. I'd grown up with that song, but I'd never really listened to it until Thursday. Listen to it again. It is beautiful. What a wonderful world.

I enjoy using commas and starting sentences with "But" even though I was always told that was incorrect. Once I got out of grammar school and saw that people do start sentences with "But" I took advantage of that. Now I use it wayy too much =]

Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel."

Jesus take the wheel/Take it from my hands/Cause I can't do this on my own/I'm letting go/So give me one more chance/Save me from this road I'm on/Jesus take the wheel

My Favorite Song ever (Not counting the Beatles and "Across the Universe")... "I Love it When You Call" by The Feeling. I love the way it starts out. It makes me happy.

I have really, really good friends who are there for me when I need it. I am so lucky.

When I did my research for my paper on Marie Antoinette last fall, Elena Maria Vidal was a big help. She's written a book about Marie Antoinette and her blog has sooo many articles on the French Queen. =] I looooove Marie Antoinette.

Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's. That's the film that she's most known for. Did you know that she said that was the hardest role she ever played?

I really like salsa dancing. It is so much fun.

I haven't done anything for school yet. And classes start on Thursday =[

I went to the state fair this weekend. It was fun. We saw the Neverly Brothers =]

Ben Folds' song "Brick" is so sad. It's about when his girlfriend got an abortion and afterwards who they just drifted apart because they were both in so much pain because of of it.

Right now, I'm reading The Friday Night Knitting Club. It's kind of random. I like it.

This was a really weird post.

Have a great day, everyone!

xoxograce

Getting Back

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not."

-- Dr. Seuss

This is it. I'm going to write about my service trip. Right now, in this blog, before the magic is all forgotten.

Let's just put this out in the open right now: I went on this service trip because I felt like I had to.

170 kids out of my class of 350something were going on service trips. I didn't want to be one of the minority who didn't. But I also didn't want to go to some random town with a bunch of random people I didn't know. I used to be really open and bubbly in grammar school, but after high school I got the tiniest more reserved. I got really, really awkward. There are some people I can talk to easily, some I can't. And the chances were pretty slim that I would be friends with people on my trip. But I went. Out of obligation, but I suppose also out of some silent hope that I would actually get a good experience, like everyone said.

We were going to Harlan, Kentucky to work with an Organization known as C.O.A.P. (Christian Outreach with the Appalachian People.) I'm not really going to talk about my group in this. We did kind of form a community, but one problem with the program we were on was that, unlike the other trips that had gone from our school, we didn't do service in small groups every day. We served as one large group of twenty two. Because of this, none of the barriers of the different cliques and social classes were really broken. We pretty much just stayed with the same group we had rode the bus with. We cooked and cleaned together, always begged for seconds together (we were living on $3 a day, so we were still hungry after each meal), shared one bathroom and one cabin, and some people did form community, but it wasn't a very welcoming community, I felt. But then again, I'm awkward, and for some strange reason my mind was kind of on a retreat that week, so I know I'm partly to blame for not really being connected. That week in Harlan was a week I spent with God and myself, more than anyone else, even though I was with 21 other people. It was wonderful though. I was away from all the distractions-- my phone, the computer-- and I was more or less on my own out there, with no one who knew too much about me, who could make me remember what was going on back home ore remind me of the past. It was God and I. It was lovely.

We were working on a house for a family in the town next to Harlan. We were putting up roofing and siding. Our carpenter was the best part of the trip. For the sake of privacy, I won't use his real name. He'll be Bobby as far as this blog is concerned. The lady who runs C.O.A.P., Ms. Jessica, told us to guess what Bobby's age was. We all made guesses and Matt wrote them on his pants. We were all guessing that Bobby was in his twenties. We were wrong. Bobby is seventeen. Just like all of us. And he works fourteen hours a day.

The first few days Bobby didn't say anything to us. We couldn't get him to talk. Around Wednesday, he finally started laughing at some of the things we said. He started to like us. It was so cool.

It was weird, though. Bobby is seventeen, but he seems so much older than all of us, like he knows something about life that all of us are missing. Bobby knows what hard work is, that's for sure, but I don't think that's all we don't know. I think there is something else. Something in that relaxed southern way of life, where 8 o'clock can range anywhere from 8-9 and if you don't get something done because you are talking to someone and getting to know them, it doesn't matter because you were doing something special with your time. Everyone knew that Bobby was more mature than any of us. The adults even treated him like their equal. Because he is. Bobby is in every way the equal of an adult, and that is so weird for me to think, being his age and still being under the control of my parents and teachers.

Bobby works fourteen hours a day. Bobby doesn't go to school. It kind of seemed to us that Bobby is missing out on being a kid. Legally, he is a kid. But really, I think Bobby kind of skipped from being four to forty.

Around Tuesday of that week I realized what I wanted to do with my life, at least for a few years after college. I want to teach. Not just anywhere. I want to teach English at Harlan High School. Harlan is a mining town, and if you are not a miner, there are no jobs unless you're educated. And most of the people in Harlan aren't. I want to go there and teach. I want to make a difference. I know I sound like I'm trying to be a savior, but that's not what I want at all. I want to teach kids, to share my love of reading and writing, to pass on what I know. But most of all, I want to learn the big secret that everyone in Harlan, Kentucky seemed to know. I want to learn how to appreciate life. I want to learn from the citizens of Harlan. I want to let them teach me, and if I'm lucky, I want to convince at least one student to stay in school. That's all I want-- to make a difference in the life of one person. I want to touch people's lives, and I want to meet people who touch mine. I want to know people everywhere, I want to be someone special in the lives of the people I come in contact with. I want to be needed.

That's what I learned on this trip to Harlan, Kentucky-- how good it feels to be needed. I need to be needed. This was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, not because I landed a good group or good chaperones, but ecause the simlicity of every day helped me discover who I am and what I want. It helped me learn about myself and others, and these are things I will never for get.

xoxograce

100 Summer Memories

"In the summer, the song sings itself."

-William Carlos Williams

My most sensational summer memories:

1. the first Sox game of the summer and the romantic time watching the fireworks ;)
2. walking through the city after dark
3. salmonella pancakes and handwashed glasses
4. NOT being at the restaurant
5. my tea party
6. the Taste
7. Bob
8. our cupcake baking party
9. watching our 8th grade class video
10. the 3rd and 4th of July
11. finding myself
12. learning to legitimately love my curves instead of just pretending
13. finally making a decision about cross country
14. finding God
15. still fulfilling some of my hippie desires, although no one knows it =]
16. not making a list of things to do this summer so that things could happen as they were supposed to
17. my service trip and Billy
18. dropping ice cream
19. not eating chocolate
20. finding the bush that I used to pick berries from when I was little... the berries are still delicious... mmm
21. serving others and Lou Mitchell's
22. making my own music
23. voice lessons =]
24. putting covers on non-take-home glasses
25. Batman
26. describing Pineapple Express as "highly inappropriate"
27. spending the week with my mom
28. Chinese food
29. the Olympics =]
30. swimming haha and swim meets with Ann
31. going out to lunch with out clothes over our bathing suits
32. on the way to the beach... "Grace... do you see that there is no sun outside?"
33. Gino's East and creeper's at Water Tower
34. Mike's cookies
35. not hiding from the rain
36. getting caught in the thunderstorm with Clare
37. Definitely, Maybe =]
38. white sox games... haha elvis nights
39. Genevieve and Bethel =]
40. fireworks
41. reconnecting with grammar school friends
42. learning there are some people you can't trust
43. but that doesn't mean that there aren't people you can trust. because there are.
44. the Rosary
45. St. James and my grotto
46. forgetting
47. remembering
48. Mamma Mia with Aunt Karen and Mom
49. Jersey Boys... I guess that's your birthday present...
50. Veronica... I'm on my blog...
51. guitar hero
52. Palmer's Place, Borders, and Coldstone
53. researching
54. uncomfortable trips to Noodles
55. Six Flags with the Toms
56. knowing that I'm worth it
57. being a natural blonde
58. letting my hair dry naturally
59. not going to Polish class
60. dressing up as Audrey Hepburn
61. Much Ado About Nothing closing
62. running down Michigan with my dress falling down while Andrea sits in the car laughing
63. standing on a roof
64. line dancing... hahahaha
65. the lazy river
66. not talking about Hubert
67. cutting onions
68. s'mores and bonfires
69. walking in the city after dark
70. not watching Kiss Me, Kate
71. actually being optimistic about this year =D
72. smiling
73. black eyed susans, green trees, and daylilies
74. Jim Sturgess
75. Bob. Again.
76. people visiting me at work
77. American Apparel and sweatbands
78. Broadway in Chicago night at the Taste
79. wearing comfortable clothes.
80. Jorgie
81. laughing about things that happened two years ago
82. the sky being so blue and the clouds being so beautiful that it looks fake
83. dancing
84. making invitations for my tea party
85. actually liking my schedule
86. having enough to eat after coming home from Kentucky
87. praying
88. not remembering my half birthday
89. "I'm going to sell these on Ebay!"
90. not having to listen to the trumpet playing
91. dragonfly lamps
92. Cherry Coke
93. concert at the park with Ariel
94. not wearing jewelery, makeup, or rainbows
95. not getting tan... again
96. babysitting
97. catching fireflies
98. walking for no reason
99. getting closer to my dog
100. realizing there are still 7 days left

FYI my original list got deleted, so this is what I came up with the second time. I think that this has been my favorite summer in a long time. It's been a good one.

xoxograce

My Little Grotto

This is my grotto for St. James the Greater in my room.

My Camera Could Not Capture It...

Your camera wouldn't have been able to capture it either. I was trudging home from the hell that is my job, and I crossed a bridge over the DesPlaines River. I've been going over that bridges, either walking or driving, several times a week since I was four. Big deal. The bridge by the dam. I'd been over it thousands of times before. Once in a while, I would stop and look, pretending that I saw how beautiful it was. I always wanted to see the beauty of the world, but my eyes were blind, despite the fact that I have 20/20 vision. I would try and fool myself into thinking that I understood the beauty of the earth, but I never could. To me, the river was just a bunch of water, flowing it's course. But not today. Today the clouds above the river were colored pink and were in a magnificent design. Right above them was a fingernail moon, and below them was a neverending line of green trees. The river was flowing gently down the damn, and the fishermen were enjoying each other's company. It was the most beautiful sight I have ever been blessed to witness. I could not focus on the whole scene at one time. I wanted to take in the whole view at once, but I would have had to step out onto the bridge and risk getting hit by the oncoming traffic. "I wish I had my camera!" I thought. But my digital purple polaroid camera would not have been able to capture it the way I remembered it anyway. I continued walking, past the houses on the other side of town, and saw a house that had just been built. "How beautiful," I thought. There were flowers hanging outside of the second story window and it looked perfectly lovely. I looked at the whole house. I realized that a few weeks ago, I would never have been able to appreciate the beauty of that style of house. (Forgive me, I do not know what kind of house it was: I am terrible at classifying cars and houses, but I believe it was a bungalow. I love the word bungalow. It makes me feel like bouncing.) I realized then that somehow, I was viewing the world through different eyes, without even trying. I continued walking, and at the end of the block was the Presbyterian Church. It had stained glass windows and big wooden doors. The church office was an arts and crafts building. It reminded me of the first scene in Beauty and the Beast, when Belle is walking through the village. Again, I wished I had my camera. I had seen this building, too, since I was four and had never realized it's beautiful architecture or the extensive grounds. I began walking again and saw the park across the street from the library. (Our library, by the way, is absolutely gorgeous, and I knew that before I had this new way of seeing the world. It is made out of stone and has a cozy fireplace and reading rooms and is just the most comfortable place in the world!) The park, with its tall trees looked so silently pulchritudinous that I wished I had my camera yet again. And I realized. I did indeed have my camera with me! I was so mad at myself for not realizing that it was in my bag before, but I wasn't about to walk back because my feet were killing me after being on them for hours. I tried to take a picture, but it was turning out way too dark on my camera. The camera just could not capture the moment.

Today I saw the most beautiful sights that I have ever appreciated. I give credit to God for helping me see the beauty of nature.

xoxograce

More Best Friends

After posting about my best friends and really thinking about it, I realized that I have a lot more than four best friends this summer. This makes me extremely happy =]. I love you, my friends.

xoxograce

"Best Friends"

From about first grade until around fifth or sixth grade my best friend was Elizabeth, a girl who went to my school and lived nearby. In fifth grade she went to the public school in town, and I continued attending the Catholic school. Until then we had been inseparable. We started seeing each other less and less, and we both made new friends. The title of "best friends" that we had given ourselves steadily turned into just "friends" and we rarely saw each other.

After that my "best friends" switched from year to year. I wouldn't realize it right away, but every summer I would notice that I was hanging out with different people than I had the summer before. The summer after freshman year I had four best friends. The next summer it changed and I still had four best friends, but 3 of them were different than the last year. By the end of last summer, my best friends had changed again.

This summer, I have three best friends. One of them has never been on the roster of best friends before and I regret not knowing her for the past 2 years. Thank God for bringing her into my life this year. These are my best friends, not in any particular order, because I love them all the same.

My first best friend is crazy, just like me. She gives me good advice and understands what I am feeling. We always have a great time together and I know that next summer, she will still be one of my best friends.

My second best friend is my little Bumblebee. I call her Bee for short sometimes. Haha. For short. Bee will understand. Bee holds me and my first best friend together. I would not be able to stay remotely sane without her. She tells me things that I don't want to hear. She tries to knock some sense into me. She comforts me and she is a nice Bumblebee so she never stings. I've never heard her say a bad thing about anyone. I need to take a leaf out of her book.

My third best friend, I have known since fourth grade, but we never became friends until high school. She is always there for me, and she is not afraid to tell me things I don't want to hear. She is so generous in everything she does. I'm so glad we went to the same high school otherwise we would have never become friends.

My two preceding summers, I had four best friends. I think I started this summer off with four as well. There is always room, number four, if you ever want to come back. There is always room for you at the inn.

But I've also found a new kind of best friend this summer. His name is Jesus. That's all I'm going to say.

But lately I've been wondering exactly what it means to be best friends. I mean, Person A could hang out with Person B all the time and have the time of his or her life with Person B and trust Person B, but does that mean that Person B is their best friend? What if there is a Person C? And Person A never notices Person C, but Person C cares more about Person A than Person B does and would do anything for Person A, while Person B would only go so far? Wouldn't Person C, then, be the best friend of Person A? Doesn't it make sense that your best friend would be the one who cared about you the most and did the most for you and everything? It's so confusing, the term "best friend."

This is just what I have been thinking about lately. What if we all have a best friend that we forget about, or just don't notice?

xoxograce

Worrying

Anyone who knows me personally, and even those of you who just know me through my blogging, may gather that I am the ultimate worrier. I worry about everything. I can't let things drop and I just keep worrying and worrying. And worrying and worrying. Half of my time has got to be spent worrying. I've spent all night since around 6 worrying. I've been trying to distract myself all evening and have not yet succeeded. When I started writing this post I was thinking about saying that I was excited, but then I realized that it wasn't actually excitement, but a kind of counterbalance to my worrying that I was feeling. I was looking through my mom's bookshelf for something to read (as I have been neglecting to go to the library due to fines for overdue books =]) and I found a book that perfectly suits my needs right now. Heaven Help Us: The Worrier's Guide to the Patron Saints. At the bottom of the front cover it says: "Who to call when your heart is broken, your house won't sell, or you suspet that last check won't clear." This book was written for me! And what a time to find it, right in my own house, when I've been silently flipping out for the past three and a half hours. I just had to post about this as I found it so coincidental and wonderful. I'm going to go scan it now to see who to call on for my issue.

goodnight, all.

xoxograce

Fun

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. Have you ever known someone who didn't know how to have fun? I can't stand it. There are some people I know who always hold back. They always think they're having fun, but when you look at them, you see that their smile doesn't go all the way up to their eyes. They've tricked themselves into thinking that they're having fun, but they really aren't. It's all pretend. They never let go. It's good to let go sometimes and be completely crazy. Ahhhhhh I don't know why this has been bothering me so much. It makes me sad when I see people who are pretending to have fun. Laugh obnoxiously loud. Snort. Be crazy. It's good for you.

xoxograce

Randomness

I have been avoiding blogging lately, and I don't know why. Granted, I just got back from my service trip and college searching on Wednesday evening. I'm not going to post about my service trip just yet. I just want to think about it for a while and then decide which aspect to write about. It was a life changing experience, that's all I'll say right now.

I've been thinking about how I must seem so different to people on my blog than I do in real life. I'm not great at communicating through speech, but through writing I can always find the right words. This blog is composed of my thoughts. I wish I could communicate my thoughts as well in every day life as I can when I am writing. That's something I need to work on.

It seems really weird to think that I'm a different person than I was, say, going into freshman year. Do people really change that much? Am I really all that different? Or have my experiences changed me? Or am I the same person I was three years ago but my experiences have changed my outlook on things? It's all so confusing to think about.

I'm really just rambling in this blog. Thanks to anyone who has stuck around to read this far. It's August. School starts in twenty days. July went by way too fast. This time next year I will be packing my bags to go away to college. It's scary. I'll be the first to admit that I'm freaked out about this coming year. Finding a college. Applying. Waiting for the Acceptance letter. Trying to figure out how to pay for it. It's freaking me out.

Okay, I have to go do the laundry. This has been the most random post yet, I'd say. I don't even know. I just needed to blog so that it wasn't hanging over me. I couldn't keep postponing it.

=]
xoxograce

Service Project

I'm going to be leaving on a service project tomorrow and I will have no access to the internet or anything electronic, so I will not be posting for at least a week. I will be journaling while I am there, so I will post some reflections on my return. Please pray for me and have a safe week.

xoxoGrace

Prayer

I've never been one to pray, but fortunately I gave it a shot a few weeks ago. Basically, I always felt like my faith was forced on me. It felt inherited, and I felt like I wasn't the one who had found this faith and had personally connected to it. Growing up with Catholic schooling, my faith was just always there, staring me in the face, but no one I went to school with actually practiced their faith. It really was just there.

Last year, something happened to me that made me have even less faith in God. I didn't try not to sin because I wanted to be good for God. I tried not to sin because I was scared of what would happen if I did.

I would go to Mass and would participate in it, singing and sometimes playing violin, but I never had a spiritual connection to it. I was a Catholic just because I wasn't anything else, and I wasn't anything else because I was too scared of what my family would do and what would happen to me after death if I ever converted. What if it was actually the wrong choice?

Then my friend (who has a much heavier cross than I) inspired me to find my faith. It took a while, about three and a half months, before I actually went out and looked for God, but eventually I did it. Because faith is so complicated and hard to understand sometimes, from the outside it appears easier not to even bother with it, but once you have it, you realize that you could never do without it.

Sunday, my friend and I went to pray the Rosary at the Perpetual Adoration Chapel at his parish. Last night we went to Benediction and the Rosary at his church. Today I drove out to his church by myself and went to the chapel by myself to pray the Rosary. I find it so much easier to pray when it is quiet and Jesus is right there before me. At Mass, the prayers seem so rehearsed most of the time, but at the chapel, it's just God and I. I can say whatever I want, however I feel, and God listens. And He answers me, too.

I started asking God for signs to know that He is hearing my prayers. And He gives me signs. Just little things that when I see or hear them or even feel them, I know that he must be listening to me because something that beautiful or that coincidential could not happen without Him. I think He knows that my weak faith needs these signs to hold on for one more day.

All I can say is, prayers do get answered. On Sunday, I thought that a chapter of my life was being closed before I wanted it to, but really a new chapter was just beginning. I now know that I have to heal the relationship that I hurt through my neglect of God and my friend, but because of God's guidance, I know what to do. I just wanted to say thank you, God. Thank you for sending my friend to lead me to you.

Amen.

A Little Inspiration for the Week Ahead

and she said yeah,

my life may not be something special

but it's never been lived before

-Ani DiFranco, "Brief Bus Stop"

My friend Teresa is an exchange student in Chile right now, and she sent this quote along with her travel journal. I thought it was quite inspirational.

xoxograce

Facebook vs. Blogger

I recently deleted my facebook. I couldn't stand it anymore. I was addicted to it, and it annoyed me. Now, I'm addicted to blogger, but not quite so much as I was to facebook. I feel more productive on blogger. I'm writing, which I haven't done in a while even though I love it. I'm practicing communication through writing, and I'm even learning new things when I read other people's blogs. Not just what they did during the day, but about the areas they live in, different faiths, and even how to bake the perfect cake. It's not all just a bunch of gossip, so I feel so much better being on blogger than I did on facebook. I still sometimes think... uhm, I'm communicating with people I don't even know!! But when I start my writing career, I'm going to be doing that, so it doesn't seem so strange anymore. I just wanted to point out that blogger actually helps me get something done.

xoxograce

So I'm a Weird Teenager...

Last year, when I played Tuptim in "The King and I," I met a really great group of people from a parish near by my house. We all seemed to have a lot in common and it was just a lot of fun to hang out once in a while. The only weird thing about it is that we are all different ages. Our group is comprised of the most "normal" people from the parish, and our ages range from 3-48. Last summer, we used to have barbecues over by Dina's house every once in a while and then we'd just sit around the campfire while Jeremy played guitar and we all sang along. We became just a big family. It was really just like being with my aunts and uncles. There was just no blood relation.

This year, the play was really stressful for me so after it closed, I just took a long break. Tonight was the first time I'd seen everyone since April and it was so wonderful. It was wonderful to sit there with Jeremy playing guitar, with people encouraging me to sing, and to just know that everyone there loves me for who I am. They are a separate life that I have. They don't know about my problems with Will or anything else that is going on in my life other than what I tell them. To them I'm just me. Just Grace. And it makes me feel so wonderful to have that. When I was sitting there with all of them singing, I just felt safe. I was in a safezone. And after a few days of stress, I really needed that relaxing time with some fun, chill people. And when I left I was ready to go back and take my cross up again. You know, you can always take a rest from carrying a heavy cross. You just have to remember that when you are done with your break it will still be there waiting for you, but if you use your break wisely, it won't feel as heavy to carry as it did before.

xoxograce

Thoughtful Friday 1

"The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain"

-Kahlil Gibran

Aww...

Andrea just sent me this picture of us from when we went to go see the pre-screening of "Sweeney Todd." Haha... that was an interesting night =] I just thought I'd post it because I think it's really cute.

xoxoGrace

Grace Again

So there are several reasons why I chose Grace as my pen name. Some are apparent from my other posts, although I don't remember if I ever directly stated them. One of them is because my friend Veronica sometimes reminds me, "You are Grace." As in Grace Adler from the television series, Will & Grace.

This year, I unexpectedly found my Will. There have been many wonderful times, as well as many emotionally exhausting times, in these few months since we entered each other's lives. I will start from the beginning.

I wanted to be in Choir Freshman Year, but my mom made me do Orchestra. Okay. Last year I tried to do Acting, but it didn't fit. This year, I was finally able to do Choir. I was excited, but also a bit nervous. I'm really glad I ended up doing it though, because some of my best friends are in that class.

We had three accompanists for our choir. One of them was Will. (Well, his name will remain Will for now, at least, although his real name is one of my favorites. =]) Everybody loves Will. Will was the quiet, nerdy cute (Will, forgive me for using that term) boy who was amazing at piano and everything else he did.

I had the tiniest crush on Will on and off throughout the year, but I never really talked to him so it didn't count. It was a "Hi, you're adorable, I love you," crush. No deeper than that.

But Will was a nice guy. And Turnabout was coming up in February. Too bad my friend asked him before I could. Ahh, Junior Prom was coming up in April. That would be my chance.

My mom knew I wanted to ask Will to J.P. She told me she wouldn't buy me a dress until I had asked him! And, of all things, she gave me a deadline! Lord, I must have been one of the first 5 people to get a Prom date.

I spent all President's Day preparing. His favorite composer is George Gershwin. I made him a CD with Gershwin songs from a show that I had been in. Then I made a puzzle that he had to solve, using the Playlist. The puzzle spelled out "JUNIOR PROM?" I stained the paper in coffee and heated it in the oven, and used calligraphy pens to write on it. Then I burned the edges. My room smelled like smoke for days after, because of course, being me, I would burn paper in my tiny room.

I gave an envelope to him on February 29th, Sadie Hawkin's Day. The envelope contained all the clues and the CD. The 29th was a Friday. I went to see "Penelope" at the movies for my friend Andrea's birthday that day after school, and my friend Julija had to take my phone away from it because I kept checking it to see if he had called.

Sunday was the Junior Ring Mass. Andrea called me in the morning and told me that Will had written on her Facebook and said something along the lines of "hey can you tell grace that i solved her puzzle, but i don't want to call her yet. tell her i have a surprise for her for the next time i see her." OMG I was so excited.

At the Mass, I was singing a verse of the Psalm and Will of course was playing the keyboard. I didn't talk to him at all. I was so nervous. After Mass Veronica and I went to get our rings. After I got mine, I saw Will was waiting to talk to me. "Veronica," I said, "Do I have to go talk to him?" "Well," she said, "he's waiting to talk to you so I'd say yes."

I walked over to him and he told me that he'd solved my puzzle. He gave me a manila folder and told me the inside it was the answer. He'd tried to bring it to my house but he'd gotten lost. It was so adorable.

Ronica and I rushed into the bathroom and opened the envelope. Wow. He made a puzzle for me too! I didn't even try to solve it, I just guessed words to fit into the spaces. I figured it out before I even looked at the puzzle. "I WOULD LOVE TO!" was the answer. I was so excited. That was probably the happiest day of my life. I felt so special and so lucky. And I was. Just in a different way than I'd thought.

Will and I went Salsa Dancing a few weeks later, the last day before Spring Break. We were really awkward. We didn't talk much. I'd tried talking to him before class began every day, but we remained as awkward as ever.

At the end of the night, Will dropped me off. He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope and told me to read it when I had time. I said thank you, I had fun, and I left.

Of course I opened that envelope immediately when I got out of sight. I knew it was something serious before I even read the first words. Basically, it was good news. But it was also difficult news. Will is gay.

Well, I immediately called him and told him that I was proud of him for telling me. I was the second person he'd told. I don't know why it was me, this girl who hardly knew him, but it was.

I walked into the house and things got harder. My mom refused to believe that I hadn't been on a date. It was really awkward and I went straight up to my room. I couldn't call anyone from school to talk about it because no one knew. I called everyone I knew outside of school but no one could talk. That night I cried, I laughed, and I basically had an emotional breakdown. It was so wonderful that he had come out. I'd always wanted a gay friend. But, I just wasn't expecting this one.

Will and I went to Junior Prom together, and we put our mad salsa skills to good use. We had an amazing time. It was one of the best times of my life. I got to spend it with my gay best friend. My beautiful gay best friend.

Since then, Will has come out to his family and most of our friends. The first few times, I was with him when he told people. I'm still so proud of him, and I love him so much.

There have been problems within our friendship though. We fight a lot. Basically, it's my fault. We both forget sometimes how hard this is on one another, but until recently, we've both been extremely open about how we feel about things.

It's weird. I don't get jealous of the guys he likes. I get jealous of the girls that he talks to when he isn't talking to me.

We sing a song together. It's our song. And it's beautiful. We haven't done it in a while. I actually haven't seen him in over two weeks. Things have been rocky lately. But I just hope he knows that I do love him, even if my words sometimes don't show that. That's one of the things I pray for every night, actually. "Dear God, please let Will know that I love him. Please let him feel it right now." I don't know if it works, but I like to think and hope that it does.

Well, that's just a little bit about what has been going on in my life for the past few months. Please pray for Will and me. So that we may do God's will and receive God's grace.


GLINDA
I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason bringing something we must learn and we are led to those who
help us most to grow if we let them and we help them in return and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let
them and we help them in return now I don't know if I believe that that is true but I know I'm who I am today because I knew
you... like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun, like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood...
who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you I have been changed for good

ELPHABA

It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime so let me say before we part: so much of me is what I have
learned from you you'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart now whatever way our stories may end I know you have
rewritten mine by being my friend... Like a ship blown from it's mooring by a wind off the sea like a seed dropped by a
skybird in a distant wood who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you... I have been changed for
good


xoxoGrace

An Update on My Life

Today I was supposed to meet my friend Amy and her two friends, Michael the girl and Brit, at the beach. Before the plans were set in stone however, I scheduled a rehearsal with the music director at church because I am cantoring at Mass Saturday night. The next train downtown wasn't until 1:10, so as I was sitting on the train, reading a hilarious book (Do Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up?), Amy called me. "Grace?" she said, "Do you see that there is no sun outside?" It was indeed a dreary day, as many days in the Chicagoland area have been for the past few months. We ended up meeting at Gino's East. Basically I ended up walking around all of downtown Chicago. (FYI, I went into Tiffany's for the first time ever on Monday and had Jenny take a picture of me outside looking in the window, just like Audrey!) Then we ended up going to the mall, and it was raining, so we walked around with our towels over our heads and looked like colorful nuns!... not only did we get to people watch today, but we were being people watched! That makes absolutely no grammatical sense, but on this blog I really don't care much about my English. I just kind of type and post. We had some *ahem* interesting encounters at the mall, and finally we decided it was time to leave because it was getting dark out earlier because of the rain. Then I had to wait 20 minutes for the darn trolley. When I got to the train, I saw a bald man up ahead of me. "Dad!" I shouted. He didn't hear me. I began calling his name, "Bob! Bob!" Some man next to me said that it was to loud and he wouldn't hear me. "BOB!" I shouted, as loud as I could, and proving the man wrong, my dad turned around and saw me. When I got home I really wanted to go out. I called my friend Clare and we went to Blockbuster's and got "Definitely, Maybe" (after a disappointment in the midst of it, I ended up loving it in the end.) My mom called me and told me to get to Clare's house fast because the sirens were ringing in town. We got to the door of the Blockbuster and looked out. There were four people waiting there. It was pooring rain. Clare and I looked at each other. After about a minute of discussion among us and the rest of the Blockbuster customers, Clare unlocked the car and she and I ran out into buckets of rain beind dumped every .33874329847 seconds. We'd been outside all of thirty seconds and were completely soaked. Normally I love the rain, but this year it has been raining too much for my liking. Hmmph. Well, that was my day. It wasn't very interesting, and I can't keep any of my thoughts straight, but I thought I'd fill you in.

xoxoGrace

The Weight Issue

I felt the need to address the weight issue today after talking with one of my friends who is uncomfortable going to the beach. I have had my share of extra pounds, but I never felt too uncomfortable to participate in an activity. I do realize, however, that I did not make an effort to go out when I was younger and quite chubby.

I was a very thin little girl until around second or third grade, when I got considerably heavier. The boys in school would continuously ask me if I was pregnant. I was in third grade. Are you even kidding me? You can't defend them by saying that they were too young to know any better. Our culture teaches us that thin is beautiful and fat is not. But there is a very fine line between being "thin" and "fat."

I think it was third grade, maybe fourth, that I gave up pasta for Lent in an attempt to slim down. Haha, like that worked. Every morning I would come into the bathroom and pull up my shirt to look at my stomach. I felt that it was getting thinner. The scale wasn't an issue at this point, thank God.

In 5th grade I slimmed down a little bit, but once someone mentioned that to me I thought I could eat whatever I wanted. In seventh grade, things got really bad. Whenever my mom would say something to me about getting my weight down I would refuse to listen because I was too embarrassed to talk about it, but the summer going into eighth grade I finally gave in. That summer I lost 20 pounds. Between 8th Grade and Freshman Year I gained back 15. Then the summer going into Sophomore Year I lost about thirty pounds. I maintained that weight for almost a year, but at the end of sophomore year something happened emotionally that really stressed me out and disabled good diet and exercise routines. My biggest mistake was probably that I went Lacto-Ovo Pescatarian. I was very unhealthy and was ultimately a Carbotarian. After seven months I gave that up and tried to get my weight back to where it had been, but I am unable to run and running is the only thing I want to do. It's been difficult, and I'm losing the battle.

I'm not going to talk about what has caused the increase in obesity in the world, as I have neither great knowledge of it nor any desire to discuss it. I want to take a moment to point out that what many of us view as fat, is not in fact fat at all. Sometimes when I'm getting dressed, I'll look in the mirror and think "Wow, look at that hourglass. Those curves are awesome," but other times I'll look and think "Oh my God look at all that fat!" I'm not fat. It's fleshiness that has been miscontstrued into being called fat. In ancient Rome, flesh was beautiful. You will never see a sculpture of someone with a twig for a body in a Roman museum. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12. She was not fat at all. The difference between her and many people today is that she accentuated and used her curves to her advantage, while many people today try to disguise them. The beauty of the human body can be found anywhere. We define what is beautiful. And it's time to started expanding its definition.

xoxoGrace

Names Again =]

Today I will do F-J of my favorite names.

My Favorite Girl's Names:
Faith
Felicity
Fiona
Gabriela
Gabrielle
Genevieve
Genna
Gloria
Grace, of course
Hailey
Hannah
Hayden
Hilary
Holly
Hollyn
Ireland
Isabella
Jacqueline
Jane
Joanne

My Favorite Boy's Names:
Gabriel
Gallagher
Gannon
Gilbert
Grant
Gregory
Isaac
Israel
Jacob
John
Jonathan
Julian

xoxoGrace

Grace

I've come to the conclusion, that Grace is the prettiest name that one could ever bestow upon a child. It's a virtue name like Charity, Faith, Honor, Justice, or Mercy, among others, but I believe that Grace is the most lovely of them all. I have told my mom that I missed the "graceful lesson." The name Grace encompasses so many things: elegance, God, will, and strength. It is from the grace of God that everything else comes. This post was inspired by my names post. I thought I'd sing my praises of it while I was on the topic of names.


grace /greɪs/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[greys] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, graced, grac·ing.
–noun 1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.
2. a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.
3. favor or good will.
4. a manifestation of favor, esp. by a superior: It was only through the dean's grace that I wasn't expelled from school.
5. mercy; clemency; pardon: an act of grace.
6. favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity.
7. an allowance of time after a debt or bill has become payable granted to the debtor before suit can be brought against him or her or a penalty applied: The life insurance premium is due today, but we have 31 days' grace before the policy lapses. Compare grace period.
8. Theology. a. the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.
b. the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.
c. a virtue or excellence of divine origin: the Christian graces.
d. Also called state of grace. the condition of being in God's favor or one of the elect.

9. moral strength: the grace to perform a duty.
10. a short prayer before or after a meal, in which a blessing is asked and thanks are given.
11. (usually initial capital letter) a formal title used in addressing or mentioning a duke, duchess, or archbishop, and formerly also a sovereign (usually prec. by your, his, etc.).
12. Graces, Classical Mythology. the goddesses of beauty, daughters of Zeus and Eurynome, worshiped in Greece as the Charities and in Rome as the Gratiae.
13. Music. grace note.
–verb (used with object) 14. to lend or add grace to; adorn: Many fine paintings graced the rooms of the house.
15. to favor or honor: to grace an occasion with one's presence.
—Idioms16. fall from grace, a. Theology. to relapse into sin or disfavor.
b. to lose favor; be discredited: He fell from grace when the boss found out he had lied.

17. have the grace to, to be so kind as to: Would you have the grace to help, please?
18. in someone's good (or bad) graces, regarded with favor (or disfavor) by someone: It is a wonder that I have managed to stay in her good graces this long.
19. with bad grace, reluctantly; grudgingly: He apologized, but did so with bad grace. Also, with a bad grace.
20. with good grace, willingly; ungrudgingly: She took on the extra work with good grace.


Grace

*the greatest of all virtues
*I just love the classic elegance of the name Grace and the sweet innocence of the name Gracie! My daughter's name is Grace Anwen and she's been called our Amazing Grace, Graceful, Goodness Gracious... lots of fun little nicknames!
*A timeless classic that will serve well as a child and adult. Grace has great elegance and the meaning "Gift from God/Full of Grace" will stand the test of time. *It has made a comeback but is still not overused - thank goodness! P.S. This is my daughter's first name and is first on my list.
very pretty. an older name making a come back. good for a child and adult.
*Grace is popular but it still doesn't strike me as common. It's crisp and clean. It's an ideal middle or first name because it conjures up only lovely images and yet isn't too much of a burden to live up to.
*simple, classic, elegant, can be used for child or adult
*I like Grace because Grace is timeless. A little girl can wear Gracie, and a successful businesswoman can wear Grace.
*a tradition in my family of girls' middle names being after their grandfather produces this one. My father's name is Graham, so any granddaughter of his will have the middle name Grace after him.
*Grace Angelique: I just love Grace...It is classic, and simple, and easy on the ears...As a child she would be "Gracie", cute and fun....And as an adult, just Grace sounds both beautiful and respectful.
*Grace Elizabeth: very classic and elegant
*Grace Rebekah - Grace timeless, beautiful, and simple. It sounds good with Rebekah, and I love both names

GRACE
Gender: Feminine

Usage: English

Pronounced: GRAYS

From the English word grace, which ultimately derives from Latin gratia. This was one of the virtue names created in the 17th century by the Puritans. The actress Grace Kelly (1929-1982) was a famous bearer.


Here is some information on God's grace: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/06689x.htm

xoxoGrace