Supense

So I just started listening to this old time radio show called Suspense after my friend Pat told me about it a few months ago. It's a free podcast on iTunes and I'm kind of obsessed. I didn't think I would like it at first and it wasn't until I had some free time this past week on break that I started actually listening to it because if I'm reading something or get distracted on the computer while it is playing I don't pay attention to the story and completely miss what happened. Hopefully hearing it on the radio and having to picture it on my own will improve my listening skills. It's actually really cool and I highly recommend checking it out. It's free so that's definitely a plus!
xoxograce

"God will not look you over for medals degrees or diplomas, but for scars"-Elbert Hubbard

There’s a scar by my left eyebrow from chicken pox.
There are scars on my elbows from falling off the swing.
There’s a scar on the inside of my right knee from when I fell off my bike.
There’s a scar on the back of my right ankle from shaving.
There’s a scar on my right ankle from a blister I got ice skating.
There’s a scar on the back of my left calf from when my lamp fell on me.
There’s a scar on the back of my right thigh from shaving.
There are scars on my chin and above my eyebrows from acne.
There are scars all over my feet from shoes and from running.
There’s a scar on the side of my middle finger on my right hand from when I mysteriously cut myself somehow.

We all have scars. Scars are marks of life. They show that we haven’t spent all our days inside our rooms sitting on our beds, hiding from the world. They show our braveness, our foolishness, our helplessness. They are imperfections that move us closer to perfection. If we spent all our time inside, away from life, we wouldn’t be living a full, well-rounded life and we’d be moving further from perfection then we would be if we were actually trying. Scars when looked at as a part of something bigger are beautiful. They are a scrapbook of our lives, a roadmap that only shows where we’ve been but can’t tell us where we’re going. Scars are life.

Heyy

I think it is extremely important to address people by their names.

Yeah, I walk down the hallway and say “hey girl” and “what’s up lady,” but if I’m in a conversation with someone, I make sure to call them by their name. I do love terms of endearment. I come up with new ones all the time, but sometimes you just need to hear your name. You need to make sure that the person talking to you actually does know it.

Thinking about it, I don’t think a lot of my friends actually do address me by my name in normal conversation. I do it all the time. Usually if one of my friend’s addresses me, they call me “Hil” which is completely fine. I don’t need the full name. I just need to know that I’m not a general person that they decided to talk to. I do like being called Hil actually. It makes me feel as though people are comfortable with me. I don’t know why, but I really like when people say my name. It’s MY NAME. But I like hearing how other people say it.

Love.

Happy Easter Bunny!

Jesus Christ is risen today, Alleluia!

We went to Mass this morning, then came home and found our Easter baskets, then ate breakfast and now we are preparing for our Easter celebration. I hope everyone has a blessed and happy Easter!

love, grace

Desiderata by Max Erhmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant,

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love,

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,

and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Here in your arms...

Hellogoodbye is playing right now.
It's 12:51 Easter morning.
Jesus rose from the dead.

I am so happy.
I think I'm legit happy, too. I don't think it's from the vicodin.

I'm cleaning my room.
I have so many good friends.
I have so many memories.
I have a bright future.
I have so many treasures.
I feel adorable.
I feel so happy.
I am lovable, loving, and loved.

I have pictures, letters, trinkets, clothing, posters, brainwaves to prove all of these claims.
I have letters that people have written to me from over the years... telling me how much they love me and how much I mean to them. I have boxes and boxes of memories. I have a beautiful room. I have a beautiful family. I have beautiful friends. And my family and friends are, most importantly, beautiful on the inside, which is what I strive to be as well. I have music playing. I am able to hear it. I have Noly Poly Rabbit Tail laying on my bed. I have a "graffiti wall" from my 1950's party folded on my bed right now, filled with loving comments and inside jokes. Hahahah I have painkillers on my bedside table hahahha. I swear to God I'm just happy even though I'm sure it's going to be hard to believe considering the vicodin sitting next to me. This is more of a post for me than it is for anyone else. I guess all my posts are mostly for me. It's not for anyone else. It's all just for me, to improve my writing, improve myself, reflect on my life. It's just easiest to do it all in a blog format. Guess what?? I've been single for 3 months and I love it. Heeeeee!!!! The only person I am accountable to is myself. It's a great feeling. I know how to fix my own problems. I'm intelligent. Wow, this is an optimistic blog beyond belief. I know this probably doesn't make sense to anyone else but myself. Hahaahaha Britney Spears is playing right now... Oops... I did it again. I'm listening to the CD Tracy made me for my 16th birthday. I HAVE MIX CDs SHOWING HOW MANY PEOPLE CARE ABOUT ME!!! HEEE!!! I love day lilies. They are so beautiful. I have a picture of one on my wall. It's gorgeous. Day lilies are my favorite flower. I can't wait until they bloom on my lawn. Ahhh, it's going to be warm outisde soon! I got the most adorable Easter outfit from Forever 21 today. I know a lot of people think Forever 21 is overrated but I absolutely adore it. I love The Sound of Music. I used to want to become a nun because I wanted to be like Maria von Trapp. Hahhaha. I could never be a nun. Even though I feel like I have a duty to become one because of the lack of religious in the world. This is morning... it's when I spend the most time thinking about what I've given up... Jack's Mannequin is now playing. White Sox won!!! My aunt Debbie, my aunt Stefanie, Tom, and I all ate a whole plate of brownies today at my cousin Pat's 21st birthday party... it was so good. Tonight I was finally able to eat some food. Thursday all I could eat after I got my wisdom teeth out was half of a milkshake and yesterday I just ate some mac 'n' cheese, apple sauce, and some ravioli a little later. I ate a lot for dinner today, so that was good. I'm naturally blonde!!!! I've never color treated my hair! I am so lucky!!! Ahhh I am so grateful for everything! St. Thomas Aquinas is the shit! I love him! Ohhh I babysat for a half hour today! I played with Baby Dan down the street and Timmer stayed inside and played computer games while Dan and I played games outside... and he rode around in his firetruck too! It was so fun! I have a stuffed animal named Murphy the Monkey... I am so blessed. Ahhh and I have my family coming over for Easter! I'm so excited! Hopefully I will be bright eyed and bushytailed tomorrow so I can enjoy their company. I feel at peace right now. Two years... is way too long to be holding on to something. I love quincy. He's adorable. Audrey Hepburn is so gorgeous. I am able to read! I am so lucky! And I enjoy reading enough to do it for fun! I wasn't able to watch PG-13 movies until after sophomore year... so I have so many movies to catch up on... but that means I have a myriad of movies to watch! I have so many things to do in my life! I started this blog! I have a reading audience! I HAVE BEEN ON STAGE AS A LEAD IN SEVERAL SHOWS AND PEOPLE HAVE LOVED IT AS MUCH AS I HAVE! I'M FLIPPING USING EXCLAMATION POINTS AND NORMALLY I HATE USING THEM BECAUSE I THINK THEY OVEREXAGGERATE...!!!!!! Okay this blogpost is complete stream of conciousness. Hey, I made it. I'm the world's greatest. I love that song. I love you. I love me. I love everyone. Wheeee!

Love, love, love, forever and ever,
Grace

Paint Splatters and Writing on the Walls...

My dad doesn't like my room.

I painted it two summers ago--it's green with blue trim. Being neither an artist nor a perfectionist, I didn't work very hard to remove any smudges or drips of paint... there's blue where it should only be green, there's green where there should be white... there are quotes written in permanent marker where it should only be plain green... i don't know if anyone has seen my little corner of quotes. I have a lot written there. I love it. I think it's beautiful.

My room has character. No one else's room will have the same paint splashes, the same pictures on the walls, the same quotes in permanent marker. No one else will have the same stuffed animals I have, the same piggy bank I have, the same mirror I have. No one else will have the same memories I have, the same poems that I have, the same paintings that I have. It's unique. It has character. No one else can ever have this room exactly the way I have it. I love it like this.